I just lost my post, gdi tumblr, guess you don’t want me ranting about the brat finally making it up here unimpeded. The last thing I need is my nephew fucking up my space because no one’s paying attention to him. Or falling down the stairs. Because, yanno, the stairwell is a giant fucking hole in the floor and there are no guard rails up here.

I am really fucking pissed and need a goddamned door.

everybodyilovedies:

Aragorn the reluctant and faintly embarrassed best man at Legolas and Gimli’s wedding.

Aragorn with his face in his hands as they get their serious mack on after the culturally-appropriate “you man now kiss the husband” bit, mumbling to himself in shell-shocked terror “the things I saw on the road…”

Gimli and Legolas participating in an epic cake-eating competition while Aragorn passes out back-up cake for the guests and explains: “I expected this.”

Aragorn having to give a best man speech for both Legolas and Gimli. Both sides of the family arguing loudly over which speech should be given first. The Elves eventually agree to go last because they have greater patience than the short-lived dwarves. The dwarves take grievous insult to this. Aragorn trying to explain how Legolas was like a brother to him and Gimli is a fine warrior. Aragorn being unable to get through either speech thanks to Legolas and Gimli loudly heckling each other’s speeches.

A couple dishonored dead ghosts show up just to see this most insane and greatest party ever thrown. Aragorn standing to the side of the dance floor while the dishonored dead try to lasso him in to dance with them. “You are free. I released you. Please. Go. Go now.”

Aragorn with his head on the table while Eowyn and Faramir giggle in a corner together and be super lovey-dovey at the wedding. Aragorn getting a headache from all the hitting himself in the face when Eowyn catches the bouquet (Gimli threw it) because she SLIDE TACKLED another female guest to get it and most of the lady guests new better than to challenge of shieldmaiden of Rohan for the damn bouquet anyway. Aragorn having to console a drunk Faramir that Boromir would have loved Eowyn, he would have, and yes, he was the best big brother in the world, I agree.

Aragorn having to carry a drunk off his ASS Gandalf back to his damn room while Gandalf might be hitting on him???? “You’re looking pretty Gandalf the Green, old friend, why don’t we just get you to your bed.” “Get me to YOUR bed, heir of Isildur! Hellah.” “By the bane of Isildur, nO.”

Aragorn staring mournfully at a pile of drunken hobbits writhing on the dance floor doing God knows what. It might be dancing. At least three of them are kind of cousins, please let it be dancing. 

Aragorn sliding down to the ground as they send Legolas and Gimli off on their honeymoon, Gimli carrying Legolas (very slowly) in his arms into their bedroom while the two shout the lewdest things imaginable over their shoulders as a preemptive play-by-play of the upcoming night for their wedding guests.

Aragorn the saddest best man ever, is what I’m saying.

rb-illustration:

Belated Inktober day 19. This one is for one of my FB followers, who wanted to see a human version of Steve. It was interesting to try to translate Steve’s personality quirks over into a human version! I hope he’s still recognisable even without the creaky joints and clogged-up air vents. :P
Drawn with Rotring Artpen.

rb-illustration:

Belated Inktober day 19. This one is for one of my FB followers, who wanted to see a human version of Steve. It was interesting to try to translate Steve’s personality quirks over into a human version! I hope he’s still recognisable even without the creaky joints and clogged-up air vents. :P

Drawn with Rotring Artpen.

Let’s Talk About: Creating Villains

anomalously-written:

A villain (also known in film and literature as the “antagonist,” “baddie”, “bad guy”, “heavy” or “black hat”) is an “evil” character in a story, whether a historical narrative or, especially, a work of fiction. The villain usually is the antagonist (though can be the protagonist), the character who tends to have a negative effect on other characters. [x]

Villain: A cruelly malicious person who is involved in or devoted to wickedness or crime; a wicked or malevolent person; the main evil character and antagonist to the hero

—-

How Not to Create a Villain

  • Villains Who Take Over the Novel.
  • Obvious Villains.
    [If you’re having trouble with this, read the novels of Agatha Christie and other famous mystery writers to learn how to fool the readers while playing fairly. For an even better learning experience, try reading an Agatha Christie novel after finding out the identity of the killer. You’ll get great tips on how to conceal information right in front of the reader’s eyes.]
  • Clichéd Villains. 
    [The conniving other woman, the evil mother-in-law, the wicked twin sister. Some villains have been used so often that they have become recognizable character types. These characters still have a lot of life left in them, but only if you flesh them out.]
  • Villains with Unbelievable Motivations.
    [Nobody wants to read an entire novel only to find out that the villain was plotting against the hero the whole time because the hero stole away his prom date 20 years ago. If your villain is scheming and planning and committing crimes, he needs a good reason to go to all this trouble.]
  • Unnecessary Villains.
    [Powerful main characters can create plenty of conflict on their own.]
  • Utterly Evil Villains.
    [Some villains are simply too evil. Not only does he make life miserable for the hero and heroine, he also beats and rapes the servants, kicks the dog, and on top of that, refuses to recycle. Not only is this unrealistic, it is often trite.]
  • Villains Who Talk Too Much.
    [This one is a classic cliché. The villain captures your main characters, but instead of getting them out of the way, he goes into a spiel about how bright he is because he outwitted them all.]
  • Weak Villains
    [Imagine this scenario. You’ve been reading an exciting, suspenseful novel, and you’re close to the end. The hero is confronting the villain. You’re expecting a big payoff. But instead, the villain turns out to be a huge wimp who caves in quickly.]

—-

Writing Tips for Creating a Complex Villain

—Choose a model for your villain: an ordinary person, a celebrity, or a notorious criminal from the news; examine that person’s flaws and weaknesses. How have they wronged others? Discard their positive traits, magnify their negative traits, and write a brief character sketch. What’s the character’s name? What does he or she look like? What is going on in the character’s head that allows him or her to treat others with disregard?

—Give your villain a shady past: what terrible things has your villain done throughout his or her life? What terrible things were done to him or her? Some villains are just trouble makers; others are deranged psychopaths. How extreme is your villain?

—Identify the source: what happened to your villain to turn him or her so evil? Was your villain born that way?
—The most interesting villains are not completely evil. They have a soft spot for puppies or they write cheesy love poems. Contrary personality traits add depth and realism to all characters. Describe your villain’s positive traits.

—Put your villain in a scene: make sure you include dialogue so you can work out how the character speaks. Give your villain a distinct voice. Is your villain disguised as a benevolent character? Does he or she spend every waking minute committing evil deeds?

Real Life Inspirations Behind Some of the Best Comic Book Villains
Creating Villains People Love to Hate
Everybody Lies 
What Makes Serial Killers Tick?
The Making of a Serial Killer
The Greatest Female Villains
Female Villains: 10 Evil Women In Literature
Basic Tips To Write Better & More Despicable Villains
Seven Tips on Creating a Fantastic Fantasy Villain

—-

A good villain must be ACTIVE:
Writers often complain that they have trouble making the middle of their novel exciting. A villain who acts, instead of simply sitting around thinking evil thoughts, is the best possible cure for a sagging middle-book.

A good villain must be SMART.
When the author has the villain do something stupid so the hero can defeat him, it not only makes the villain look stupid, it makes the hero look weak.

A good villain must be SENSIBLY MOTIVATED, AND NO WORSE THAN HE HAS TO BE TO ACHIEVE HIS GOAL.
A credible villain can be motivated by anything from simple greed to self-preservation, from patriotism to revenge, from religious fervor to ambition to romantic love.  In short, anything that can motivate any normal person can also motive your villain.

[x]

—-

A great literary villain is not any one thing; some are moustache-twirlers or evil geniuses, some are darkly complex, tortured souls, while others are amoral crazies who act wholly on impulse. There are many ways to write a literary villain, but a unique characteristic often binds the truly memorable anti-heroes together: they are at least as complex as the heroes. [x]

weepingangel221b:

musicalflashinglights:

queerpunkhamlet:

overlypolitebisexual:

as a parent it is your god damn fucking job to look after your children stop treating your children like they are burdens

you signed up to have a child, the child did not sign up to have you as a parent

keep this in mind. do not expect your children to immediately give you back all the things you give them. they are children. love them. cherish them. treat them well.

image

well done supernatural fandom, well done

no offense but tbh imo ur all beautiful and great

fangirltothefullest:

This was seriously the best show

adriofthedead:

fiddlemod:

Arin Hanson

I’m reading this whole thing in his voice and it makes it even better

iamaleximusprime:

mandopony:

ask-dr-knockout:

To ALL those artists out there who take commissions and sell their art of any type this is for you! If anyone ever tries to argue with your prices show them this! Take pride in your work! Never settle for anything less then what you believe to be a fair price for the efforts and passion you pour into your work.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Seconding this SO hard right now.
I’ve known of so many artists who were amazing but refused to charge the proper amount for their hard work. It’s a crime.

All commissioners must remember this when you commission someone!!

iamaleximusprime:

mandopony:

ask-dr-knockout:

To ALL those artists out there who take commissions and sell their art of any type this is for you! If anyone ever tries to argue with your prices show them this! Take pride in your work! Never settle for anything less then what you believe to be a fair price for the efforts and passion you pour into your work.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Seconding this SO hard right now.

I’ve known of so many artists who were amazing but refused to charge the proper amount for their hard work. It’s a crime.

All commissioners must remember this when you commission someone!!

kgschmidt:

avelera:

sunspotpony:

prettyinpixiedust:

So one day a dwarf is talking to a human and finally realizes that when humans say woman, they generally mean “person who is theoretically capable of childbirth” because for whatever reason, humans assign social expectations based genital differences. (What a fucked up culture, the dwarf thinks.) But hey, better communication! So the next time the dwarf introduces theirself, they say, oh, by the way, I am what you call a “woman.”

And the trade negotiations just stop. They just stop cold. The tall people insist on speaking to the man, they insist on talking to the lady dwarf about all sorts of irrelevant bullshit, like recipes and childrearing and perfume

so the dwarf goes back home, enraged

and is like “BTW guess what happened, we’re all just going to be men forever now as far as the tall ones are concerned”

and everyone is justly horrified at this barbarism but they all agree to do whatever  it takes to squeeze those tall bastards for all the resources they are worth

and the dwarves get surlier, and the trade agreements less generous

and the tall people are all “what a miserable and greedy race”

but really they’re just still nursing a grudge about how goddamn backwards and sexist the tall people are

because their best negotiator, one of their sacred cave people, got snubbed the instant she said she was capable of childbirth - and a mortal insult like that can never be forgiven

Because Pi’s tags are great:

#yes good #personal headcanon: dwarves have fundamentally misunderstood human pronoun usage #and gender roles #they are very perplexed by it #eventually they went ‘fuck it apparently ‘he’ is the correct word’ #'it's their language and they keep using it for us' #so then you have this situation where dwarves are cognizant of the words ‘mother’ and ‘wife’ #but not the usual use of ‘she’ secondary headcanon specific to Tolkien dwarves #dwarves that choose to bear children are held in high regard #because they are making new dwarves it is the ultimate craft #that’s what mahal did you made a new person #it is very impressive #everyone is impressed

Just as an additional thought, we hear that women dwarves generally stay within the mountain and are a protected, guarded subset of the dwarves. There’s not many of them, so there’s an implication that women dwarves are too precious to be allowed out.

But what if this too is a mistranslation? What if the dwarves were talking to the Men and when asked “where are all your women?” they hit a wall. They whisper amongst themselves, and eventually come back with a question, “What’s a woman?” The Men are incredulous.

"Why, the members of your race that bear children, of course!" 

More dwarven whispering.

They reach the conclusion that Men mean dwarves who are currently pregnant. Well! Of course those dwarves are currently safe within the mountain, well cared for and generally loathe to travel until the child is born. The Men take this to mean that all dwarven women are discouraged from traveling, and that their primary purpose is childbearing. Dwarves find this a satisfactory outcome, especially with the way Men treat their women, and so even when the misunderstanding becomes clear to them they never correct it.

I have never converted to fan-canon so hard before.